How to be a Human Romantic: from the light to the dark.
What is it to be human?
Fragile, yet strong. Imperfect and full of wonder.
If we’re so full of wonder then why don’t we feel like it? Why do we run so fast just to be stopped abruptly at the gate. Trapped by our own minds.
We’ve become so afraid of today, of the world's questions riddling us with anxiety and depression. So attached to one another yet so intermittently distant and alone.
Where did all our love go? When did we stop being so human, so free to be these creatures that are full of curiosity, full of dreams, full of opinions and creativity. Did it stop when we became adults, when the ‘real world’ hit us in the face with taxes and bills? Or was it when money became so prevalent, that anything that doesn’t make money appears to be a waste of valuable time. But what do we even value anymore? Are we even valuing ourselves when we don’t stop to look at our faces without judgement or when the mirror reflects back someone we believe that we hate because our minds tell us to, because society tells us that we’re not enough?
Life is so tiring when our brains are wired like that. When we don’t believe the world around us can be within a sun-glazed light.
Romance isn’t just for the novels or for old classic movies, it’s also for real people, for us to be human. It’s for those that want to live a meaningful life and to enter our days with optimism that they can be precious.
Romanticising life can be hard, especially when life may not momentarily be going your way and it’s so easy to fall into darkness. But you are human. You’re allowed to be sad, you’re allowed to feel envious and crazy with rage, you’re allowed to feel unexpectedly happy or unhappy with moments that arise, you’re allowed to shout to scream to laugh, to be.
So let’s romanticise the good days, lets romanticise the bad because either way they will happen. It’s how we decide to see things is when being human can be utterly exceptional.
Ways we can get back to being oh so romantic.
Write letters, Write poetry
Everyday we walk the same streets, the same way we always walk. Mindless, inattentive, closed off to the world around us. It’s clear-cut to work, eat, sleep and repeat our days to be all just the same.
Writing poetry allows us to look deeper into the scene in front, to notice the tweet of the little robin within the bush, to notice the hopelessness in the old mans expression on the bench, to see how the sun dances within your living room. It enables us to be apart from ourselves, to see more than the surface. It allows us to connect.
Writing letters for loved ones is just the same. It’s thoughtful and thought-provoking at the same time. It’s displaying your thoughts openly, through letters sprawled out on a page. It’s honest in black and white with how you feel. Whether that be happy or sad.
2. Listen Deeply
Life is fast-paced, we share days filled with unimpactful and dull conversations and endless small talk can be heavy when Friday rolls around. But there is a time when truly listening can be beneficial. There are lives lived that we will never know about and there’s people we think we know but really we never cared enough to dive deeper into who they are. But maybe if we really listened and connected to one another we’d enjoy life more, we’d feel more empathetic and less alone. So take your phone off the table when you're sipping coffee with friends, and listen wholeheartedly, empathising with all that they want and are. Call your Family members to check in on them and allow dedicated space and time with others because you can.
3. Be intentional with your time alone.
Previously, I would spend a lot of the time when alone on my phone. Am I ever alone when I can ‘connect’ to anyone I know online at any given time. The clear answer is, No.
Being intentional with your time is Romantic. Having a bath, watching a favourite movie, reading a book, going for a walk, learning a new skill, are all ways in which we could be spending our time, yet we’re transfixed to scrolling on our screens. Meaningless and most of the useless. Some days I revisit and think, ‘What did I even do today?’, because time goes fast when you’re not present or intentional with your time. I got rid of my social media on my phone recently and to be abrupt I realised that without being distracted I didn’t like my day to day life so much. Things may appear blurry because we’re constantly being tugged multiple different ways. It’s time to live your life through your own eyes by not looking at all that those are doing and to see the beauty in your own life by either believing it or by changing it.
4. Pursue a Passion
For years I have endeavoured passion for many hobbies and creative outlets. At times I’ve even been confused by how many of these projects could be further pursued and become work related. It’s important to try something new and it’s important to change up the way we live from time to time. Routine is amazing yet we also need to experience excitement and adventure of a new route or a new task at hand.
So try something new. Learn a language, learn how to play the guitar, ride a bike, run, explore the different sides to yourself. There is always something to learn and there is always something to discover. Time is your friend for that it gives you all that you need to discover more.
5. Read the right book at the right time
Last year I read a book that changed my life. Yes of course it was a brilliant book in every respect but the impact was greater due to the time I read it in my life. At the time I was struggling with money due to having no job and the fact that I couldn’t quite really manage all the sides that there are to me. Reading that book, at that time not only nurtured my feelings of the fact it worked out for them so why wouldn’t it work out for me but it also helped me empathise with the character and book deeply because I knew somewhat of how she felt.
Look deeper into yourself and take more from a book than what it’s saying face value. Most classics or brilliantly written novels can tell us more about ourselves as we learn and grow from not only just our experiences but the characters we consume.
6. Take care and time.
Take care and time with yourself of course but also for those around us. Similar to listening we also can create and thoughtfully gift to others to make their day. Take the time to bake your mum’s favourite cookies or send tulips to your sister because they’re in season, pick wild garlic because it only blooms in may and walk that autumn walk where you can crunch the malted leaves beneath your feet. Take time and care with the things you do and appreciate all you have whilst it’s blooming.
Romanticism is about approaching each day with positivity. Drink your tea, watch the indigo storm, dance in the rain, kiss the ones you love and hug them with your whole heart. Because Romanticism is about living everyday as humanly possible.
Absorbing the world around us and sitting in the sadness, feeling the heart that you were given. The world should know your heart, it should not be hidden.